Beating a Broken Heart

Every single day somebody breaks another person’s heart. It has been happening since time immemorial, and as such, it might be comparable to the oldest profession on earth in the line of longevity. There are infinite reasons why someone would send a dagger through the heart of another, with whom he or she is romantically involved. People fall in love and sometimes they also fall out of love. Falling in love is a different feeling for different individuals. Some people fall in love after being in each other’s company for a long time. Folks like these get a chance to get used to the positive and negative characteristics of each other, not leaving their love to be based solely on their emotions. Some people claim to fall in love at first sight, and folks like these might seem more vulnerable to a broken heart, because they might be drawn to each other through infatuation. Whatever it is that has beefed up a broken heart, the idea is to get over it before it overcomes you.

“Some people claim to fall in love at first sight… more vulnerable to a broken heart.”

When somebody breaks your heart, consider it a loss because it really is. It’s in the same line as losing someone through death or abandonment, and therefore your coping skills have to kick into high gear. Nobody can tell you not to worry about it, since tantamount to a loss of any kind, you have to go through the grieving process, and there is no shortcut route to beat the doldrums. At any rate, it is your coping skills that matter and you have to shape them according to the bearings of the broken heart. If your heart has been shattered by infidelity, that is, your lover had an affair and you feel forgiveness is undeniably out of the question, then you might have the steering-wheel in your hands. If your lover is apologetic, and comes begging for a second chance, that’s icing on your cake. However, if you don’t know what you are doing, you could compromise your upper hand by relinquishing the reins. If you want to quit while you are ahead, it’s best to give the about-to-be ex-lover the silent treatment. That way, his heart might be dealt the same blow when he or she doesn’t know what’s on your mind. While he’s suffering, your heart is getting a therapy from knowing that he’s getting what he deserves, and that he recognizes the fact that he might be losing the good thing.

“At any rate, it’s your coping skills that matter…according to the bearings of the broken heart.”

Once you break your silence and begin to argue, it quells the curiosity in the mind of the betrayer, putting both of you on almost equal footing. Why? Because from what you say, the deceiver might understand whether or not you are adversely affected, and that your mouth might be saying one thing, while your action might be saying another. The moment the swindler realizes that you might not be serious about your decision, that individual’s attitude might get a slight boost. You then sense that transference of optimism and digest it to decrease your self-confidence. You see, your self-confidence is the key in getting you to beat your broken heart. On the other hand, your self-worth increases when the heartbreaker comes begging, while you hold out your forbearance that he or she isn’t even scratching the surface of your sensitivity. If there’s nothing else you can learn from those seemingly senseless talk-shows, it is the exhibitions of participants’ behavior to each other while psychology takes control of them without their awareness. For instance, a man breaks the news to his wife that he has been cheating on her. She could have two options. She can fly into a rage to show her annoyance, and that’s perfectly natural. Right there, he might go down on his knees, to beg her pardon. However, if she starts demanding answers, it would suggest to him that she might be willing to forgive him, without too much effort on his part. And if she uses her mouth too much, he already judges her from her initial reaction, and might just walk away and let her do the chasing. The other option is to remain silent from the start, while he does the chasing, and she quietly regains her composure to complete the time that she needs to kick him to the kerb. Her emotions are still entangled and therefore, she has to take her own time to pull her hand from the tiger’s mouth. She doesn’t want to lose her arm in the process of retrieval, throwing away the bathwater with the baby, as it were.

“…your self-confidence is the key in getting you to beat your broken heart.”

Of course, the recovery time from a broken heart varies according to the reason the heartbreaker throws the arrow in the first place. A deceiver sometimes doesn’t care how much tear is inflicted to your vital organ, because there is an ulterior motive behind the jab. Sometimes lovers are fighters, and they are so blind that they cannot see that a separation might be the answer to their story. Hence, since they met in peace, they should simply part in peace. Instead, they are at each other’s throat at the slightest strike of a matchstick. Then someone in the equation might come to his or her senses, and finally decides to quit. By this time, the other half is still hanging on. After the initiator of the split finds another ‘soul-mate’, the bombshell is about to be dropped. When it finally does, the heartbreak hotel gets another guest. If you are the victim of this kind of broken heart, you might have a longer recovery road ahead of you, so be prepared. And the way forward might be to find a support group, if you are the people person, or get close to a confidante or close relative who you think understands these cases. For, yours is one in which your relationship had been through ups and downs, meaning that you had invested much time in your ex, and perhaps vice versa.

“…victim of this kind of broken heart…longer recovery road ahead of you.”

Now that he or she has moved on without warning, for the next three months or so, you won’t stop thinking about that person just like that. During the initial period, it feels like the end of the world, but that is still okay. The sooner you admit to yourself that you have been dished dirt, the sooner the healing process begins. If you keep holding on to thin air that your partner is going to return, you might just be prolonging the agony. Then, you must convince yourself that he or she is not the only fish in the sea, though it might inevitably feel that way. To assist in that transitional break-free process, you might have to start meeting people, not for dating, but to give your mind some space to collate your thoughts and inspirations. You now need a sidekick on whom to empty your heart, someone who might have already been there and done that. By this time, you don’t want to see the shadow or even the traces of your ex. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him or her, and whatever is so important that you wouldn’t want to put in the garbage, lock it away somewhere to be recaptured after you’ve been to hell and back. As for telephone calls, those are to be screened, and any unusual numbers should be answered by your confidante. The voicemail is never a safe place to redirect those calls either. You can’t afford to break the spell of suspension that is so important to get your head back where it belongs. You will be tempted from time to time to let one in, being persuaded by your own stupor, that it won’t do any damage. However, if you succumb to that sinister nudge, you will find yourself back at square one, still spinning around like a headless chicken. But if you bear the pain, your sleepless nights slowly start to settle in for snoozes and then slumbers, and after two to three months, you are ready to pick up your pieces and move on.

“…you must convince yourself that he or she is not the only fish in the sea…”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------