Isn't It a Woman's Job to Train a Man How to Treat Her?

Nowadays when a man meets a woman, it’s akin to the scenario where an animal attacks when it senses fear in its intruder. If the latter approaches confidently, letting its guards down, it should have no fear that it will be safe and welcome. If its body language incites doubt and insecurity, then it puts the attacker on the defensive. Since men today have deviated strongly from the norms of Christian biblical teachings, they are working with their own agendas concerning how they treat women. And that includes applying one disrespectful attitude after another. The men put out their feelers, and depending on whether the women are intimidated by the tactic, they either use it as the norm, or draw another one from the bag. On the other hand, women are reacting to the situation by trying their hands at turning two wrongs into something right. The result is a total mess for mankind.

You watch two women fussing and fighting over the man in the middle. As Judge Maria, a TV host, once told two litigants in her courtroom, when she saw two grown women fighting, she smelled a man. She couldn’t have been righter. Imagine, two women are locking horns, and the prize for which they are contending is contented to stand by the sideline and watch. But he is dogging one of them, and the other who escapes his momentary disregard feels vindicated that she’s going home with Goliath. How stupid? Nevertheless, she thinks she is being smart by helping her man to disrespect her opponent. Wait a while, what gives her that feeling? This on-top-of-the-world madam thinks that she is special, and that something must be wrong with the other woman in the love triangle equation, that finally gives the brute what she deserves! Poor souls! Both women have the rein in their hands, but remain oblivious to that notion. As a matter of fact, none of these girls needs to be with this man, in teaching him a lesson. Let’s understand the psychology at work by alluding to a mother-child relationship.

Monica’s son Jeremy was rude to Miss Blake at school, knowing that his mom never had a kind word to offer about the veteran school teacher. Monica had had a problem with Miss Blake, and that dated back to twenty years, before Jeremy even dreamt of coming into the world. The twelve-year-old took sides and talked back to the teacher, who really had nothing to do with him, except being an authority figure on the campus where he attended. In other words, she wasn’t his subject mentor, but as a member of staff at Hutchinson’s High, she had the right to correct him. Monica flew into a rage.

“She doesn’t know who she’s messing with,” she said. “I will teach her a lesson.”

That was when Hutchinson’s Headmaster received a caller on his line to become the referee for both adult women. Meanwhile, Jeremy felt that he scored against his senior. The gripes between the grown-ups never quite went away, and that didn’t do much good in the student’s favor of how to treat his superiors.

Monica needed a lesson about how to train a child in the way he should grow so that when he got older, he wouldn’t depart from it. For, regardless of the differences that existed between the two females, it was the interest of the kid that was at stake. So too was her very own, in the sense that if he got away with disrespecting one authority, her turn was coming up next. Monica actually taught Jeremy how to show defiance and get away with it. Besides, he got the upper hand of a woman who could have been his mother. It might seem like this essay is rambling, but conclusively, the point will be made clearly. For, it’s the psychology that is of the utmost importance in these analogies, and the same will be used to address the man-woman relationship.

And for that reason, I now use a personal experience to substantiate the above reference. I taught at a school in the Virgin Islands, where fifteen-year-old Malachi showed me his insolence. I went straight to Mr. Burke, the principal, to report the matter. You see, the student’s misbehavior was not done during class time, and therefore I thought it was appropriate to bring the subject to my superior’s attention.

“Say what? How could he say such a thing?” asked Mr. Burke, demanding that the boy attended his office immediately that Monday morning, following the weekend on which the disconcerting diatribe took place.

Little did I know that that was just a sham, considering that Malachi’s dad was Mr. Burke’s fishing partner. On the day that the principal summoned the boy’s father to attend a meeting regarding the student’s comportment, we all had a brief meeting to say what was to be the topic of discussion. Prior to the arrival of the parent, all three of us stood in the principal’s office, while Mr. Burke did his best to control his anger from being unleashed on the lad. Then came the moment I had to leave, thinking that the matter was in safe hands. Meanwhile, Malachi and Mr. Burke remained locked in the office, while I thought the principal was putting his foot down, to say the least. I got the shock of my life when I had to rush back in the office scarcely two minutes later, to recover a book I had left behind on one of the seats inside.

Malachi and Mr. Burke were laughing and chatting about some bicycle parts, while the student was stretching over the principal’s head to fiddle with something on a shelf above the big man’s seat. I was so stunned that I had to beat a hasty retreat. However, I knew that it was a matter of time that the devil was going to be given his dues. It wasn’t quite two months yet when Malachi had a running with Mr. Burke. I wasn’t at the scene of the incident, but according to eyewitness, Mr. Burke ran like a gazelle with Malachi, pipe iron in hand, in hot pursuit. The three-hundred-pound professor managed to make it inside his office and slammed the door shut, just in time to hear the club give a loud thud against its panel. Once there, he grabbed a tin of pepper spray and waited for the boy to barge in. Luckily, the big, scared hare was spared from the anger of a spoiled brat.

Let’s relate the above concerns to a man and a woman. When a man dogs one girl, for the sake of moving on to the next, the woman, who is in his good stead at the time, should close her door in his face. If he disgraces someone with whom he had shared intimacy, he could never be a good man, regardless of what transpired to bring an end to the relationship. And this goes for either gender. It doesn’t make sense to speak ill about someone with whom you have slept. For, if she is a dog, what does that say about him? He cannot excuse himself by stating that he found out late, since he should have looked before he leaped. It’s everyone’s duty to discover a partner first before making that giant step of getting into bed, or even cohabiting. And according to The Holy Bible, it should be done after marriage, when commitment is at its best. Anybody who chooses to do it any other way does so at one’s own risk. Hence, whatever comes, he should take it like a man, without putting down the one who he had selected to do perhaps the most sacred act on earth.

From a male’s perspective, a woman who accommodates a man and gives him comfort after he disrespects another female is considered a fool. It’s like looking at two sisters in a squabble over a guy. He says the worst things about one, then moves over in the arms of the other. And because the accepted one’s feelings got hurt, she thinks she has won a vendetta over the rejected female. Women like those are teaching the men in their lives, and by extension other guys, how to treat them and other ladies in future. Can a woman be that desperate that she is prepared to close her eyes to what is good for her own respect and dignity? Even if you don’t give Michele Obama credit for being The First Lady of the USA, you have to pay homage to her for something she recently said about choosing partners from a woman’s point of view. When asked to leave a word of advice for young women finding a husband, she calmly said “watch how he treats his mother”. Now, you might want to juggle that around to justify why your guy has a good reason to treat his mother like a doormat. However, that doesn’t change the fact that if he hasn’t found a way to handle whatever grievances he might have with the woman who gave him life, the most precious thing on the planet, he certainly wouldn’t find one, if and when your time comes around.

It’s easy to look at the world and believe that every man is the same, because of a preponderance of the evidence. (Don’t be confused with those women who love to be dogged by guys under the pretext of some fetish that they claim to fulfill. And these girls go in search of men with similar mentality, who go sniffing out the playfield to find their ready picks of the litter. And these are like lesions because they are many). Looking on, a woman might think it is okay to put up with a guy, even if he’s bashing her right, left and center. However, that is tantamount to giving the man the leverage to treat women in general like crap. If he can get away with leaving or abusing an ex, then he moves on to another to greet her with how much he dogged his last girlfriend just to be with the most recent one, it becomes the norm in the society after a time. It is comparable to a case where consumers continue to buy bread at a high price, not realizing that if they stick together to not eat bread for just a day or two, the bread industry would go belly up, and would have to rescind prices for individual firms to get back on their feet. It’s sad that you can have something and still don’t know.

Similarly, a woman has the power to teach a man how she needs to be treated. But like the firms in an industry, every girl needs to be following the same principle. If a man can find women a dime a dozen, who will accept him in time of having an itch to scratch, regardless of his take on the treatment of women, then men are poised to have a field-day in dogging girls and getting away with it big time. Look around to see if that isn’t what is happening. It’s every woman’s concern to shun the next guy who treats his woman like a piece of trash, since she is saving herself and other women from pending disaster in the long run. The cycle needs to be broken somewhere, and fast.